The excursion to the land of women
by n4nn4k0
Summary: In which Zoro and Sanji get lost, and a lot of shit happens, which the rest of the crew already expected. This is my first proper fanfiction, and I might edit this description as soon as I figure out where I want to go with it. So please have patience .


_**Chapter 1:**_

Zoro was running after him. That shitty love-cook, they were doomed with his sense of direction. They needed to go the other way to get back to the thousand sunnies. He was sure of it. But that idiot-cook wouldn't listen to him. So he ended up following the funny eyebrow though this underground maze.

 _1 hour before:_

"Laaaaaaaaaaaand! I see an Island! Go - full force forward!" Luffy was jumping up and down on the deck. It's been weeks since they last set foot on solid land, so everybody was glad, when they heard their captains announcement. Even with the paddles of the Thousand Sunnies crossing the calm belt took forever, not only because they constantly got attacked by sea kings. They were even more relieved when they saw some walls around the beach, which meant that there had to be a city nearby. Sanji slowly ran out of cigarettes, Zoro's beloved booze was long gone, while Robin and Chopper were curious for books, and in Chopper's case medical herbs. Usopp and Franky were looking forward to stock up on stuff they needed to run the ship and Nami was hoping to find some new clothes and probably even earn some money, if not finding a treasure - which would of course be far nicer.

Once they reached land, Nami handed out the usual shopping money, and everyone ran off. Except for Brook. He decided to stay on the ship.

Zoro decided to stay with the cook. Not only because he knew best where to get good booze, but also because Nami doomed him to help that idiot with carrying the shopping. They went form shop to shop, getting salt, rice, and everything else they needed. Except for Zoro's booze and Sanji's cigarettes. They asked every time they entered a shop, but everyone would just offer them something to eat, some lemonade, sweets or anything else. The cook didn't decline any of the offers, since they only ever met beautiful young women, barely dressed. That was strange enough for Zoro not to touch any of it. Until one girl offered them salty rice balls. That was too much temptation.

"So, we went though the whole city and there is not a single shop which sells booze or cigarettes." Zoro said, when they stepped outside the last shop. Sanji took out one of his precious last cigs and lit it. "I guess we both know that we will need both to continue the journey. At least if we don't plan on killing someone on the ship." He went into a dark side road, on the search of a bar or something similar. But they really only found tea houses. They again started to ask around, but only got either a pitiful look or a shake of a head.

When they entered the last possible locality, both of them were hella annoyed - Zoro was impressed that Sanji was even capable of getting annoyed by his usually beloved beautiful female creatures. "Yo! We are on the search of a shop which sells alcohol and tobacco. Do you know such a place?" The red head behind the counter lifted her head to look at the two men. "Usually I wouldn't tell you this, since both are illegal in this country. But you seem trustworthy…" She tilted her head to one side and smiled at them. She WAS beautiful. Even Zoro could see that, but Sanji showed no reaction. "If you go out of this shop and turn left at the first house entrance you will find a staircase which leads to the underground city. It's basically where all the crime concentrates, and there is also a black marked. You will just have to ask somebody, and they will name you a place or two for sure." Sanji thanked her and turned around to leave. "Don't you want to eat something, or have a nice cup of tea at least?" the red haired woman asked. Zoro turned around to look at Sanji. "I guess it would be very impolite to not at least thank you for the information by accepting your offer." the blonde said, with his usual gentleman smile.

Once they were finished they went to find said black marked. Zoro followed Sanji, carrying the groceries they had bought earlier. He was pretty annoyed, but still followed the cook without a word of complaint. As the red haired beauty from the tea house described, there really was a staircase. "You know, if we get into trouble down there, I don't have my katana with me." Zoro said looking Sanji in the eye. Something felt strange. They seemed so deep and hypnotising. Usually he was annoyed by the hateful view of the cook, and mostly his attention was drawn to those hilariously curled brows of his. It was probably the first time the swordsman realized that Sanjis eyes were of a very deep blue, kind of similar to the ocean. "…zoro….. Zoro…. ZORO?" The cooks voice broke through his thoughts and he realized he stared all the time, which caused him to blush - to his own shock. "Hey, you okay? You've been staring quite a while, does anything in my face look funny?" Zoro pulled himself together and looked at the cook. "Your eyebrows do." Sanjis reaction was kicking him down the stairs. Laughing Zoro was lying in the dark. "Oi, Marimo-head! What's funny?" He let out a relieved sigh. "Nothing, I'm glad you're the same as ever. I must have eating something strange, sorry." Silence. "So are you coming down here or not?" Steps. A light kick. "Let's go."

They walked for a while. "Hey. Are you sure it's this way?" "There is only this option, and if I had a direction sense like you, I really wouldn't question mine." Zoro sight and followed the cook. Suddenly there appeared a small light in front of them, and they started walking faster. It seemed forever away, so when they reached it they were a little out of breath. Turns out this light was a pretty big cave, enlighted by tons of torches. The air was the worst possible, but it seemed like they reached their destination.

After the caught their breath again they went to have a look around - and really! They found a shop which sells tobacco and booze. Both stocked up generously, and wanted to head back, when the woman which sold them their stuff invited them for a drink. She explained that it would be common here to invite customers for a drink or a little snack. So neither Sanji nor Zoro really dared to decline. After all they didn't want to get in trouble here of all places. So they accepted, and to Zoros delight the drink turned out to be sake. And lots of it. Sanji got a seperate box of cigarettes, which he happily consumed pretty fast. After Zoro emptied his bottle and Sanji his box they thanked the woman and attempted to go back.

They walked for a while, Sanji in the front, Zoro following him like a faithful pet. They walked. And walked. And walked. "Oi, shit-cook, you sure that's the right way?" Sanji turned around. Zoro couldn't see his face properly, since it was basically pitch black, but he could feel that the blonde was annoyed. "Huh? What else should it be? There's no other way, Moss-Head." So they kept walking. And walking. And walking. Suddenly Zoro heard the person in front of him clicking his tongue. "Oi, Marimo. It's getting late. We should start hurrying." So they started running. And running and running. For some reason they took turn after turn after turn, though neither of the two remembered taking even a single turn on their way to the cave. That shit-head of a cook! His sense of direction was no better than Zoros! Didn't he understand that it's the wrong way? But Sanji wouldn't listen to any of Zoros complaints and would just keep running. And so Zoro had no other choice but to follow him in this underground maze.

"Oi, shit-cook!" He kept running. "Ero-Cook, I'm trying to talk to you!" He kept running. "GOD DAMN, SANJI! JUST WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE!" Zoro was literally roaring through the underground tunnel system. Sanji stopped in an instant. "What's so important, that you would use my first name? Marimo-head?" Zoro stopped as well, trying to catch his breath. "I'm tired, I'm hungry and I don't want to keep running around like trapped mice. So could we please stop for a second and think of a plan how the fuck to get out of here?" "And what would you suggest? Following your shitty sense of direction and getting even more lost?" Zoro snorted. "I got it, okay? Please just let us sit down for a second, you can have a smoke, I can have a drink, and afterwards we will discuss what we will do." There was silence for a while. Then a resigned huff. "Fine. But only one. We really can't spend the whole night here. The others will worry, and I need to make Nami-swan her tea, and Robin-chwan her coffe."

Zoro was suddenly glad at how dark it was, so that the blonde wouldn't notice his super annoyed rolling of his eyes and start a fight over nothing again. Instead he just started tapping around to find a wall, slowly gliding down until he found a rather comfortable position to think in. Well, at lease as comfortable as it will get in a pitch black surrounding and with cold, somewhat wet-ish stones beneath and behind one. The green haired swordsman closed his eyes. Even though nobody from the crew might know, whenever he starts to meditate, he also trains his Kenbunshoku Haki or Mantra. Therefore he started to get rather good at it, and normally he could easily locate the others of their crew and tell Sanji which direction they were, so they could find a way out - by force if necessary. However, he felt tired. So, so tired. And he could only sense Sanji dropping down next to him, before everything turned even more black than it already was.

 _Meanwhile on the Sunny…._

"Do you think they got lost?" Robin looked down onto the top of the little doctors head. She smiled and kneed before him. "Sanji is quite good with directions. So don't worry Doctor-san" Chopper looked up at her. There were small tears at the corners of his eyes, but he told himself not to worry. Instead he took a deep breath and fiercely proclaimed: "You are right! They will be here any second!" "Yeah right, they probably hooked up somewhere. Would be about time." Robin looked up from her still kneeling position and hardly bit back a laugh on Namis comment. She was right after all. Everybody on this ship - except for Luffy and Chopper probably - knew they actually had a thing for each other. "Let's just wait until tomorrow. We can still start searching then, in case they don't show up." the raven haired woman stated. And with that vanished under deck to continue studying the books she found that day.


End file.
